Michael Jordan has walked away from the Board of Directors at Nike, taking his patented “Air Jordan” line with him. While Jordan has made no public statement, his spokesman, basketball great Art Tubolls, told us under the condition of anonymity:
“Michael is a patriot. His father served this country. His grandpappy was raised free by a man who fought for the South. He doesn’t have this hatred for everyone because kids don’t listen to cops. He’s completely against the hiring of a traitor and is taking his shoes elsewhere.”
Air Jordans are Michael’s own design. He obtained the patent for the exclusive pump and anti-gravity liquids in 1987. Since then, Air Jordans have sold more than a billion pairs of shoes in literally every country on Earth. There are two pairs floating on the feet of astronauts in space at this very moment.
In other words, Nike has ruined itself. Whoever teams with Jordan will become the new leader in sports apparel, and Nike will fade into the sunset with Puma. Nike has refused comment. Jordan’d PRR people are having lunch with our people to finalize the announcement. Fox News will lead the social media charge and Hannity will deliver the news live on his show tonight.
One thing is for certain: Nike is in a lot of trouble for their terrible, terrible decision.